One of the funniest things I've ever seen is this Louis C.K. interview on Conan (team Coco for life):

Whenever my wife and are being impatient we say "it's going to space" and we both get a giggle and know that we're being ridiculous for expecting everything in life to be instant.

Well, bloggers don't have to worry about that any more. Blogger has launched its new Stats tool, which gives them real-time analytics for their blog. Of couse, some people are running their websites on the Blogger platform with custom urls, which means real-time analytics are now a reality.

Technorati has the back story on Stats:

Anyone remember MeasureMap? For those that don't - Jeffrey Veen and Adaptive Path sold their analytics platform to Google over four year ago. The MeasureMap product was built mainly for blogger. It was a great opportunity for Google to improve its own analytics platform (Urchin), which is now known as Google Analytics.

As after the acquisition, people were guessing that Google would implement it with the Blogger.com, but they never did, 'til now.

Google Analytics is far more advanced and features rich data, but don't forget, Blogger Stats provides the data in real time and there's no coding.

Google announced the live launch of their new web indexing system, Caffeine. Mike Cutts, the Google guru who made the announcement, said, "Fundamentally the change is as soon as a document gets crawled, boom, it gets indexed. This essentially makes the entire index closer to real time."

So what does this mean for the owners of web content? Not much. The game is the same, it just got much faster. There will just be more competition for those ever valuable top 10 spots. Users searching for breaking news or live events, however, will get much more relevant links towards the top of their Google search.

As for social media: when asked if "you could now, for example, look at Facebook’s open social graph or whatever it’s called, see all the Likes for a particular page and associate those Likes with that page," Cutts replied, "If that page were public, then you could." Which, if I'm hearing things correctly is Google saying, "Thanks for all the data Facebook, this is going to really help with our indexing."

Yahoo and Facebook may be uniting, allowing users to link their Yahoo and Facebook accounts. It's a union that doesn't make much sense, unless you give credence to this rumor:

There is also speculation abound over how long it may be before Facbook makes an offer to buy out Yahoo, which could allow them to gain a dominant foothold in social search.

And if that's the case, Google better watch its back.

Google's PowerMeter API will now be available to consumers on real-time energy monitoring devices from Current Cost. Since the PowerMeter API can be deployed onto many devices, it relies less on smart meters. This means there are less barriers to entry for consumers.

Plus, if you look closely at the snapshot above, you will notice the "Join the community" call-to-action via the "Discuss" link. With so many Google users, imagine what positive implications social media could have on power usage. Consumers could share their tips and brag about the money they're saving via social networks. 

Addict-o-matic is pretty simple: Enter a topic in the search field and the app returns data for specific real-time platforms. The layout is very similar to iGoogle, and you can browse to see what people are saying about your brand or product on Wordpress, Twitter, Yahoo and everywhere else.

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts talks about how Twitter, social media and real-time customer service can be used to transform a brand and change company culture.

I've been talking a lot about Google Buzz, but when you work in social media and Google announces that they've created a new social network, you tend to pay attention. Digg co-founder Kevin Rose has a great expliantion of why Google needs Buzz:

And I think he's right. A lot of this has to do with Google's push into real-time search. Thus far Google has been forced to use third-party entries for their real-time search results and Google wants to keep a slice of that pie for themselves. But in the rush to get that piece of pie and in the rush to create an entire social network quickly, Google has stumbled a bit and has had to make changes and apologize. But the end result — ownership of real-time search — might very well be worth it in the long run.

Sure, your online presence is active 24/7, but are you measuring its activity in real time? With Chartbeat you can. Chartbeat provides you with a robust suite of monitoring tools — from instant SMS traffic alerts and uptime reports to real-time dashboards for your computer and smartphone — that are designed to keep your finger on the pulse, no matter when or where.

Times are tough (and getting tougher) in today's economy, but there are still jobs popping up out there — you just need to know where to look. That's why Twitter list specialists TweetDeck have teamed up with TwitJobSearch to bring you JobDeck, a custom list that plugs you into real-time resources that can help you find employment.

Now more than ever, monetization is on everyone's social marketing radar. While some continue to debate the pros and cons of experiential vs. transactional, others have built smart business models around the inevitable merging of these two worlds.

Add Blippy to the latter category. Simply put, Blippy is a real-time social platform answers the question "What are you buying?" by enabling you to instantly share and talk about purchase information with your friends.

But is what you buy TMI? Scoble doesn't seem to think so. Keep in mind, not long ago people thought the same thing about the question "What are you doing?" — and we all know where that led us.